Saturday, January 18, 2014

The Hand of Glory (A Lesson in Ps and Qs) -Disinformation

Originally published January 18, 2014 via disinfo.com
Ich bin ein Berliner.”
-John F. Kennedy

The Hand of Glory is one of those stories you hear of when you’re running around with PROFESSIONAL occultists.  Like the beat cop’s story of the junkie on angel dust, still standing after a barrage of gunfire; or the “Things I’ve Pulled out of Rectums” stories from nurses.  Stuff that blows the layman’s mind, but is just another day in the business for the pro.

The Hand is supposed to be an object of extreme occult power.  Depending on the version, it will either turn its user invisible, mesmerize victims in its vicinity, or it can tell the future.

There are varying instructions for its creation, but the most commonly cited is a delicious recipe by Petit Albert (1722) for pickling the hand of a recently hung jerkwad.
“Take the right or left hand of a felon who is hanging from a gibbet beside a highway; wrap it in part of a funeral pall and so wrapped squeeze it well.  Then put it into an earthenware vessel with zimat, nitre, salt and long peppers, the whole well powdered.  Leave it in this vessel for a fortnight, then take it out and expose it to full sunlight during the dog-days until it becomes quite dry.  If the sun is not strong enough put it in an oven with fern and vervain.  Next make a kind of candle from the fat of a gibbeted felon, virgin wax, sesame, and ponie, and use the Hand of Glory as a candlestick to hold this candle when lighted, and then those in every place into which you go with this baneful instrument shall remain motionless.”
Other versions involve dipping the hand in wax and lighting the fingers, or the use of a different set of herbs.
The end result is always the same, though: a nasty piece of black magic, coveted by thieves and brigands, who are said to have used the thing to put entire houses to sleep while they robbed them blind.

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